Bat for Lashes

At the risk of being scoffed at by all those music bloggers who are way ahead of the curve, the album that I keep coming back to this year is Two Suns by Bat for Lashes. This band has started to see a bit of attention in the States, making tv and radio appearences everwhere, and I think that it is due, so I am just adding my 2¢ here. The following video’s are the lead single from their previous lp, and the new record respectively. They are both kind of dark, but hopeful and uplifting in the way that Tim Burton’s films tend to be. So please check these vids out, and if you like the music, buy it!




update: apparently embedding has been disabled for the What’s a Girl To Do? video, so please, surf here to see it!

Happy Father’s Day to ME!!

Look at this little tyke. Isn’t it the cutest-wittle-ting you’ve ever seen!? That’s my first tomato, there. Takes after his old man.

I Fought in a War

While I am not sure how it started, I am ready for it to end. The President is getting all this attention for killing a single fly the other day, but between yesterday and today, I’ve killed at least 50. How do these outbreaks happen? I came home from work and there were a dozen flies buzzing in every window, and so I set to killing them. Efficiently and cruelly. It’s like fly-Nam up in here, and there is no time for remorse. I also feel like we were unfairly targeted. We have screens in all the windows, and we’re cleanish. Why us? There was a large group buzzing around in a window that I couldn’t reach, and so I just closed it up and locked it. They’re dying in there, frantically looking for a way out. I lifted up the widow to check, and there are 8 dead on the sill right now, and who knows how any more zig-zagging around. They just keep coming, keep multiplying, and I’m starting to worry about my conscience. I don’t want to be at some kids party and see a fly, you know, land on the birthday cake, and then have to whig out on some crazy Jeff Goldblum flashback and eff some poor kids cake up. I don’t want that. I will continue to fight. But I’m ready for this war to end.

Pork Tenderloin Sandwich

This one is Pork Tenderloin Confit, with Braised Cabbage, Applesauce, and Blue Cheese, on a Brioche Roll. When I first came up with the idea for this, I thought to myself that it was a late fall kind of sandwich, Sunday dinner on a roll. Well, it could be, but it also proved to be a Saturday spring picnic in the park kind of sandwich. Strange but true, it was both, depending on whether it is prepared hot or cold. Another thing that struck me was how similar it is to the last sandwich I made, the Pork Belly Reuben. It’s almost like the two are fraternal twins or something, except this sandwich was a star pupil and a model citizen, while the other had a penchant for 8 balls and hookers. But they both turned out alright, and no, I haven’t forgotten we’re talking about sandwiches here.







I turned to Charcuterie yet again for the rub in this recipe, and it was indeed this book that influenced the creation of this sandwich, with its talk of how confited pork loin is an “amazing cold cut”. I couldn’t resist the temptation so I bought a tenderloin from Trader Joe’s and rubbed it down, wrapped it in plastic wrap, and put it in the refrigerator for two days. To confit something is to poach it in fat; to fully submerge the meat in fat and to cook it at a low temperature for a long time, until it is fork-tender. This technique creates an incredibly rich, perfectly cooked product. The only trouble is that it takes a while. It’s not hard, though, on the contrary it is mind-bogglingly easy in terms of the results you can achieve. It does require that you keep a ton of rendered fat on hand. There is that: you have to be willing to keep a few pounds of fat in the fridge or freezer.







The Braised Cabbage and the Applesauce recipes come from the Chez Panisse Vegetables and the Chez Panisse Fruit cookbooks respectively. These are both wonderful books, and ones I turn to again and again for inspiration and guidance when I am faced with the conundrum of figuring out what the hell to do with God’s bounty. They rarely let me down. I make the braised cabbage all the time. It is so easy and a full-sized cabbage can last quite a while. It’s a wonderfully healthy thing to have on hand, and its great for dishing out a good old fashioned Ukrainian Gasmask to your better half. Making applesauce is even easier, and it’s interesting to mess around with different kinds of apples. The possibilities are endless!







For the Tenderloin: you will need a piece of pork tenderloin as large or as small as you care to make. Combine 2 Tbls Kosher Salt, 3 Bay Leaves, 4 Garlic Cloves, a half bunch of Flat-leaf Parsley, 2 Tbls of Black Peppercorns, 1 Bunch of Sage, 3 Tbls Chopped Shallots, and a 1/2 teaspoon Prague Powder (pink salt)(not essential, but it draws out a lot of water). Pulverize in a spice grinder, or barring that, grind it up as best as possible in a food processor or with a mortar and pestle. Rub the mixture all over your tenderloin, wrap it in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for two days.

Pre-heat the oven to 200º. Unwrap the tenderloin and fit it into a large enough pot or dutch oven to accommodate the meat and enough fat to cover it. On the stovetop, bring the tenderloin and fat to a simmer before placing it into the oven. Cook for about 3 hours.

When the loin is done, remove from the oven, and allow it to cool in the fat. Then refrigerate for at least 24 hours. This will keep for weeks, so if your not up to eating it right away it will be there waiting for you. To serve you can do one of two things. In either case, you pull it out of the fat, but in the one case you slice it up and fry the slices in a pan, and in the other you heat the whole thing, or a piece of the whole thing, up just enough to get the excess fat to melt away, then slice it up cold. It’s awesome either way.

To make the Cabbage you will need a whole red or green cabbage, an onion, a bay leaf, salt, pepper, sherry vinegar, and an apple. Take cabbage, cut it in half and core it. Then, slice it as thinly as possible. Do the same with the onion. Heat some sort of oil or fat in a large pot or dutch oven, and cook the onion for about 5 minutes or so. Add the cabbage, bay leaf, salt and pepper to taste, the vinegar, and a half cup of water. If the cabbage doesn't fit all at once, add it batches by allowing it to cook down for a few minutes. Once it is all in the pot, cover it and turn the heat down, and allow to simmer for 20 to 30 minutes. Take the apple, peal and grate it, and once the cabbage has braised for the alloted time mix it into the cabbage, and allow to cook for an addition 5 minutes. That’s the cabbage.

For the Applesauce take as few or as many apples as you wish, so long as they aren’t mealy and flavorless, and quarter them, discarding the cores. Cut the quarters into half inch pices. Add a half inch worth of apple juice or cider to a pot on the stovetop and add the apples. Bring to a simmer, and cover, stirring occasionally, until cook until the sauce reaches your desired consistency. It can be as thick and chunky or as thin as you wish. That’s the applesauce.

To make the sandwich, all you have to do is combine these three things with a nice soft, crusty roll, and a sharp, tangy blue cheese to act as a counterpoint to the sweetness of the apples. I used a variety called Blue de Gex, but anything that has a real bite will do. I also add mayonnaise, but I think that’s an individual decision. It doesn’t really need it, but I thought it worked well to hold all the cabbage together, and thus give a more cohesive feeling to the sandwich. As I mentioned earlier, this can be prepared either hot or cold, depending on when you are eating it, and whether you are up to dirtying a bunch more dishes in order to make a sandwich. My girlfriend claims that this is the best of all the sandwiches I have featured here thus far. If you decide to try it, I hope that you agree!

One more thing. . . I’d like to give it a catchier name, but can’t seem to nail it. Any suggestions? The winner will receive my eternal gratitude!

Mr. Bungles Berry Good Bourbon Strawberry Rhubarb Jam

Every time that I decide to do some sort of food project it inevitably ends up costing a small fortune. Finally, we have an exception to the rule with Mr. Bungles Berry Good Bourbon Strawberry Rhubarb Jam! Gabrielle and I both had Friday off, so we decided to go on a cheap date: Strawberry Pickin’. After doing a quick google search, I came up with this web address, www.pickyourown.org, and we drove out to the first place on the list for the Portland, OR area: Albeke Farms. The description says that they have all kinds of pick your own produce, with strawberry’s coming first in the season, and just our luck, they opened their farm a day before we called. I hadn’t been berry pickin’ since I was a very young boy, so I don’t remember much about that time, except we walked away with a boat load of strawberries and it was a dreary day. That wasn’t the case for us. It was mostly sunny and right in the 70’s. Perfect berry pickin’ weather!




It may have been that we loved pickin’ berries, or it may have been because they only cost a dollar a pound, but either way, we managed to pick 20lbs of strawberries. I suppose that’s peanuts if you consider the couple a few rows down from us had just finished rounding up an even hundred. We were going by bucket, and we decided to fill two buckets each. I figured that would be about enough to make some jam, and maybe have enough left over for a milkshake or two. So this is a word to the wise: be weary of the buckets one fills lest one be buried in berries!







Afterwards, we fished around for some canning jars, and the lady at Bed Bath and Beyond sent us over to Bi-Mart, where we found an abundance of canning jars at incredibly low prices. If that weren’t enough, everyone that worked there was incredibly nice and helpful, and just about every costumer we saw was jolly as a sonamabitch. It was like if Big Lots were Kubla Kahn’s stately pleasure dome, except with cheap chips instead of fly maidens playing the dulcimer. If you live in the Northwest, and you are planning on canning some things, I recommend going there. Seriously, though, they had the 9oz bags of Kettle Chips for 2 bucks.







I suppose a little back-story is in order. Before I became the Catastrophysicist, I was a Mr. Bungle. Now I am only a Mr. Bungle when I am in the kitchen (Mr. Bungle’s Bistro), or whenever Brie and I are in the same place at the same time. For those that don’t know what a Mr. Bungle is, you can educate yourself with this video:







Me and the star of this video share the same name, but we’re basically opposites. I do ALL of that Mr. Bungle shit!

As for the jam, I followed the Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving to guide me through successfully. Making the jam wasn’t really difficult, it’s just kind of a long process that you have to stay focused on till the end. It involves mashing 8 cups of berries, adding pectin and lemon, bringing that to a boil before adding 7(!) cups of sugar, and then bringing that to a boil, and cooking it down to a certain consistency. I decided that it called for some bourbon all on my own. Meanwhile you have to prepare the jars for canning, which is kind of too involved to relate here. I recommend buying the book. It has very easy to follow step by step instructions, and over 400 recipes! I ended up with 10 8oz jars, and if you consider I used about 4 pounds of berries at $4.00 and paid $6.00 for 12 canning jars, that comes out to a dollar a jar! This was the first time I tried and it won’t be the last. Canning is not just for old ladies in the country anymore!







Update: WordPress has actually automatically generated an appropriate link below this post. The link for How to Make Jam – A Beginner Tutorial expertly outlines the process, albeit for a much smaller batch. Check it out!

Real-Life Comic

This is from a while ago, when I used to mess around with Comic Life on the old MacBook. Unfortunately, neither of us really party anymore:

The Blog Has Suffered

It was a bittersweet day last Wednesday: I started working again. Between our bicycle tour, and the economy, It’s been exactly a year since I last held a steady job. The reality is that I didn’t think that I was going to find work for quite a while, and NO ONE has bought a pair of my bacon shoes, so, in a last ditch attempt, I responded to an ad on Craig’s List with a temp agency, and I was off to work two days later. It was rather shocking. The placement is with West Coast Event Productions, a company that, among many, many other things, rents those gigantic tents and sets up chairs for weddings. It is one more in a long line of menial labor jobs throughout my life, but this one is the best because all I really have to do is lift heavy shit all day.

One of the first lessons I learned on the job was about how it’s true that Mexicans are running things these days. Of about 40 employees, thirty are Mexicans, and maybe 5 of them can speak english in conversation. However, all of them bust their ass. I remember hearing a serious joke somewhere that Mexicans are in the process of staging a takeover of the west coast, specifically California. In other words, they plan on taking it back. I used to think that that would be an amusing reality until last week when I realized that it could actually happen. After spending just a few days going through the back doors of a lot of places, rather than the front, it was plain to me that if Latinos decided to stop working all at once, at least here, industry would come to a grinding halt. I also think the odds of this happening are precisely nil. It’s just interesting to consider. Anyway, there I was sitting in the back cab of a truck on my way to Reed to set up a tent with a couple Mexican guys up front, and all I could think was my my the tables have turned.

Between then and now the company has asked me to come on and work full time for them, which I almost entirely look on as a blessing. I spoke with a number of other people that started there the same day I did through the temp agency and many of them told of months without a single day of work, and the inability to even get an interview. Only one of that group besides myself is still there. Clearly there are very few jobs available, and I am grateful to have gotten one of them. However, it is hard, tedious, thankless work with long hours (4 of 5 days so far have been 12+ hours). I am likely to become incredibly fit, though, so check for me at the club.

Strictly for the Ladies

Finally, after all these years I have decided to embrace the entrepreneurial spirit of this country (the U.S.) I can’t seem to find a job these days, so I decided to design a pair of Bacon Shoes in attempt to cash in on this latest bacon craze. Now, I know everyone will want a pair of these killers, but, as the title of the post suggests, these are “Strictly for the Ladies.” I feel your pain all you bacon dudes, but this website I designed ‘em at, called Zazzle, only lets you do Keds for ladies. (I don’t know how many bacon-loving dudes are rocking Keds any way.) I expect this design to take off though, so all ya’ll keep your eyes peeled for the Smoked Bacon Air Force 1’s later on in the BBQ season. These are called the Hover Bacon Extreme’s and I’ve priced them at a mere 64.00 (yes, they are ACTUALLY for sale (no joke.)) Mine aren’t the first bacon shoe, but they are certainly the Champion bacon shoe. I’m hoping to make mad cheddar off these joints, so for real, don’t sleep!

Dog Mountain

Wasted!

“I confess that I am angry at the manufacturers who make these things. There are days when I would be delighted if certain corporation executives could somehow be obliged to eat their products. I know of no good reason why these containers and all other forms of manufactured ‘waste’—solid, liquid, toxic, or whatever—should not be outlawed. There is no sense and no sanity in objecting to the desecration of the flag while tolerating and justifying and encouraging as a daily business the desecration of the country for which it stands.



“But our waste problem is not the fault only of our producers. It is the fault of an economy that is wasteful from top to bottom—a symbiosis of an unlimited greed at the top and a lazy, passive, and self-indulgent consumptiveness at the bottom—and all of us are involved in it. If we wish to correct this economy, we must be careful to understand and to demonstrate how much waste of human life is involved in our waste of the material goods of Creation. For example, much of the litter that now defaces our country is fairly directly caused by the massive secession or exclusion of most of our people from active participation in the food economy. We have made a social ideal of minimal involvement in the growing and cooking of food. This is one of the dearest ‘liberations’ of our affluence. Nevertheless, the more dependent we become on the industries of eating and drinking, the more waste we are going to produce. The mess that surrounds us, then, must be understood not just as a problem in itself but as a symptom of a greater and graver problem: the centralization of our economy, the gathering of the productive property and power into fewer and fewer hands, and the consequent destruction, everywhere, of the local economies of household, neighborhood, and community.”
— from the essay Waste by Wendell Berry 1989



The above photograph is from the tail end of the Delaware & Raritan Canal State Park just outside Trenton, NJ. That’s right, this is sponsored by the State of New Jersey (although, in fairness the rest of the canal trail was extraordinary.) It gets worse further on into the actual city, though. The whole “urban nightmare” is in effect. I took this picture last summer while Brie and I were on our bike tour, and I regularly go back to look at it, and try to reason how it made, and makes, me feels to see all that trash, with the turtle presiding over it all like it’s his kingdom. As I was reading the essay from which the above quote is copied, I realized that Wendell Berry had articulated my comparably rudimentary thoughts some 20 years ago in this powerful injunction. I challenge every one who reads this to go a single day without consuming something that comes pre-made or packaged.